In my previous post I looked at the seemingly simple piece of wisdom ‘ask and you shall receive’, focusing on setting intentions for your life and getting what you truly want… But there is more to this. ‘Ask and you shall receive’ means also ‘don’t be shy to ask for help’ and I would add ‘know how to accept help’.
Since I left the corporate world I have much more time for myself but I have also much more time for others, which is one of the key reason why I made the move. I have always cared about what happens to people around me, whether I know them or not, but now I have the incredible luxury to actually dedicate time and effort to them. One thing that totally baffles me is how little people ask for help, and how little they are actually ready to accept help. In the past year I cannot tell you how many times I have proposed my help and how many times it was actually used… Not kidding the ratio must be 10 to 1 if not more…
Asking for help and knowing how to accept it is fundamental. We were never meant to do everything alone.
Most importantly asking for help does not mean you are a poor little thing who doesn’t know how to do things… It means you have the humility to acknowledge that when you are stuck or overwhelmed or simply unhappy there are lots of ways to get out of it which do not include carrying all the weight on your own, reaching exhaustion, depression and developing multiple sicknesses, because…well… this is what generally happens.
Trying to do everything on your own, although brave, actually defeats the purpose of being incarnated in a world where you have family, friends and people you encounter daily.
When you try to do everything on your own you actually block the natural flow of energy which is all about giving and receiving.
Not only you miss important life lessons, and as such impede your spiritual growth, but you miss an important point: asking for help does not mean having other people doing things for you, at the end of the day only you can walk your path but it does mean being open to what they might suggest, or sharing the weight, or being lifted off by their energy so that you can accomplish what you are meant to…
You are not a hermit on the top of a mountain but even if you were, trust me, hermits also ask for help… spiritual help.
A very good friend once told me that what she liked in my posts were the practical steps, not only the life messages but the ‘how to’… so here are my five steps to asking for help.
First, Ask!!! Ask for it in your heart.
Believe me when I say there are a lot of beings, albeit invisible, that can hear you. You can call them Guardian Angels, Guides, Spirit, God, Saint X or Saint Y, the Universe or simply your higher self… whatever… The assumption this whole thing is based on is: the Universe is incredibly aware and creative, it answers and reacts to your thoughts… Also if you do believe in angels, guides and saints, you need to know one thing: it is their mission to help you… so relax, don’t be ashamed to ask and realise: when you do not ask you leave them virtually with ‘no job’. When a guardian angel cannot guard you it defeats the purpose doesn’t it?
Know as well that there is nothing that is not ‘worthy of their help’. When I used to be in big fat jobs I would often feel myself pressured by deadlines and the sheer amount of work. When I did I always asked for help… yes, even to finish a powerpoint presentation to the CEO… and you know what? It worked. Seriously…
Second, just like when you set intentions, focus your thoughts on the ‘what’ you want help for not the ‘how’ or ‘when’ or ‘through whom’. Leave it to the Universe… The answers you are looking for can come from a book you suddenly want to read, a movie, a dream, a conversation you have with a friend or an unexpected encounter with someone you don’t know…
And don’t get stuck on the ‘who’ should be providing you help. You can’t force it, it has to be spontaneous, genuine not manipulated.
Third, be aware and receptive. The Universe can be answering you 10 times over but if you are not listening, looking, noticing it is just as if you didn’t ask for anything.
Fourth, when a solution comes your way, please, please, please accept it. Assuming the solution or help is well intended of course. I am not telling you to accept any advice or to give your money to the first person you encounter. Trust your intuition, follow your guts and… well… have a bit of faith in your fellow human beings. Not every one is here to get you, some people are genuinely drawn to help others. Really.
In there I feel that the key is to look at the type of help you are offered. If the person wants to do it for you because the underlying assumption is ‘you don’t know how you poor little thing’, move away. You won’t learn from it and people like these are just trying to make themselves feel important and valued.
The point is to accept help that will empower you, enlighten you, look at a solution you haven’t thought of, a help that will make you feel better, stronger not worse. You are meant to walk your path not them. But you were not meant to do it alone…
Fifth, and that is important, don’t refuse because you don’t know how to ‘repay’ someone for their kindness or help or advice. Everything in life is about giving and receiving. You might not be able to return the favour to the person who helped you but you will have opportunities to pay it forward. That is a fact.
The more you ask, the more you receive and the more you will be giving out… It is actually the most magical thing in life.
When you refuse someone’s genuine help you don’t only block something in you, you block something in them.
It might be unconscious, but they were sent to help you. It is important for their own growth… Think about it next time someone proposes help…