Yes, we chose it… all of it… the good, the bad and the ugly… It might not always feel that way particularly when we are not satisfied with the result but we chose it all and we continue to choose it every day. The trick is to start remembering and act in full consciousness, let me explain…
The first assumption we need to get rid of is the belief that we are here by chance, that the hand we have been dealt with is random and that life happens by coincidence, or worse, that life is cruel.
When you start dabbling with spirituality you quickly realise all this is bullshit, pardon my French. Before we were incarnated in a physical body we were energy, part of the super consciousness that surrounds us constantly. In that ‘in between lives’, immersed in higher awareness, we decided on our incarnation… The family we will be born into, for better or for worse… The milestones for our spiritual development: the successes, the challenges, the heartaches… The characteristics of our life: money, status, love… or lack thereof… Our own attributes: physical, emotional, intellectual…
And yet you will tell me: some appear to have it all… thinking of the ones who seem to be blessed with money, beauty and fame… Have you ever looked into the lives of those ‘blessed ones’? With full objectivity, not with envy? The stars you read about in people magazines… Does it really seem to you that they are basking in never ending happiness? Look again… Look how lonely most of them are beyond the hordes of fans and the entourage. Look at the alcohol and drug abuse they fall into to actually escape their lives. Look at the failed relationships. Look at the sadness and depression. Truthfully… Take a good look…
Whatever hand you dealt yourself with… and not ‘have been dealt with’ by some sort of evil God who is having lots of fun at your expense… whatever this hand is… when you start realising you decided it, a long time ago, albeit in a different state of consciousness, for your own spiritual growth, I can assure you it makes things much easier. Because you start taking control.
You are not a puppet anymore, pushed right, left and centre by influences you do not understand. You are not a victim anymore, prey to some sort of evil fate or the malevolence of others. You understand there and then it is like a game that is meant to lead you to your higher self.
To the outside world my life may have seemed easy. I was born in a well off family. I had a great education and accessed high level jobs. I am healthy. And yet I have been faced with a lot of violence from a very young age. I won’t bore you with the details but trust me when I say it was rather ugly. My family had to escape a war torn country and start again multiple times. I grew up in a country I love but where I always looked different despite my best efforts to fit in. I was blessed and cursed with hyper sensitivity to people and places which made my life, most often that not, a living hell. I was born ridiculously spiritual in a family that knew nothing of it leading me to be heavily medicated for decades. So yeah, believe me when I tell you to always look beyond the surface.
I struggled a lot throughout my childhood, teen age years and young adult life and, perhaps like you, felt like a poor little victim in all this. I just could not understand the challenges, the violence, the lies, the manipulation, the abuse and kept on wondering what the hell had I done to deserve all this… Somehow, someway, along the road I started looking at the patterns in my life, the type of struggles that seemed to be repeating themselves. Somehow, someway, I started understanding they weren’t random. They were pushing on very specific buttons, specific wounds. The more I started understanding them and acknowledging them as steps to my spiritual growth the easier it got. Most importantly I realised I had all the resources in me to face those challenges and come out a better, stronger person.
Being a victim doesn’t serve us. Whatever situation you are in, whatever physical pain, whatever heartaches, whatever failures, they are all here for a reason and… wait for it… they are beneficial to you.
You chose it. All of it because, like a well designed Nike ad, you can do it… Now, the next logical question is: and free will in all this?
If we chose it all why do we bother doing anything if things are just meant to unravel according to a pre-defined script? Well this is where it starts becoming really interesting…
Yes, we chose our incarnation and its critical milestones but the way we decide to react to events and people is our very own choice. At every step we can choose fear or we can choose love. We can choose trust or we can choose suspicion. We can choose hope or we can choose to give up.
I love astrology, numerology and card reading. I love them because it can enlighten you towards the specific influences you will be dealing with at a certain moment in time. It helps you understand if it is a good moment to jump or if it is better to wait. It enlightens you over the situation of others that are linked to you. Are they receptive or closed off right now? It helps you navigate your life in full control. It doesn’t tell you what to do, you can choose to jump anyway, but it tells you if things will be easy or not.
I will tell you something else. We might have forgotten the reason why we chose our incarnation the way it is but we have also pre-defined certain encounters to help us remember. You see we are not left totally amnesic in this game called life. If we pay attention and keep our mind open, we will find countless opportunities and meet a number of people who, consciously or not, will help us find our greater path.
Because at the end of the day it is not a matter of wrong or right. It is not a matter of success or failure. Those are human concepts that do not exist in the greater realm of consciousness. But there is a higher path that our soul knows about and keeps on pushing us towards.
We chose this life and we keep on choosing it every day. Our attitude, our behaviour, the specific vibe we are sending will attract certain events and certain people. It does not mean that by being a never ending optimist we will only attract good things. As I said, certain milestones are written, but by being an optimist, by choosing love instead of fear, the type of help we will receive will be different. Because when you lock yourself up in fear and mistrust you actually close off your energy and the signals it would have otherwise sent to the Universe. It is quite simple really, which doesn’t mean however it is easy.
Look at your life and start understanding the patterns you have to break to rise above it all. Look at the unique set of qualities you have, they will help you get out of it. Look at the unique set of flaws you have, they are the clues on the priorities you have to set for yourself. Keep your energy high and flowing, you will receive all the help you need. Finally, and most importantly, remember your dreams. The ones you were told to forget from a young age to start fitting in. Listen to your heart, if there is a part of you that knows who you are, why you are here and what you can actually do it is your heart because it is in direct link to your all knowing soul.
Stop listening to people and models that do not serve you. Be your own role model. Get inspired by people who make your heart sing not your head hurt. You are in control. Every day, choose to be in control. When a door closes, persevere, find the window, or go around that wall. Listen to the incredible guidance that is always here, whispering, knocking.
Most importantly believe in yourself and dare to hope, every day, every way. Without hope we are mere zombies barely functioning and going from one day to the other.
Rise up. Discover your purpose. Connect without fear. Find your light. It has been here all the way.