Someone very close to me once said that instead of writing ‘long articles’ (quote) I should do 1 minute videos because ‘people don’t read anymore’. To that I answered: ‘I am not into instant wisdom’.

There is no such thing as instant wisdom. Take a pill… Read a quote… Chant Om three times… And voilà! You are wise!

No. Wisdom takes time. Wisdom takes depth.

Wisdom requires a tortuous journey into the darkness of your being and the worst of your fears.

I didn’t write much in the past year and a half because I was in the middle of that journey. My whole life got completely reshuffled, parts of it totally destroyed, and it required all my strength and all the wisdom I had acquired throughout the years to allow me to come out of it stronger, anchored in my body yet fully aligned with my soul, 100% independent, totally free of attachments, projections, criticisms and judgements. In one word: happy.

In the 6 months period that separated the pair of eclipses in February and the trio of eclipses in July-August I literally felt like I was taking the exam of all my life learnings to date and I awarded myself a passing with honours. That’s it, I graduated! I finally made it to the other side. I healed once and for all some important karmic and spiritual wounds. Like the phoenix I had been reborn with a whole new phase of my life in front of me. An amazing blank canvas of possibilities and of new learnings…

It is the teachings of this challenging yet incredible period that I would like to share with you. So… amateurs of instant wisdom be warned… this is not an article for you. It is deep, it is linked to a series of other articles I have written previously making the entirety of it… wait for it… long 😉

Now, for those of you brave enough to go through this post with tentacular sub-chapters, let’s look at how to manifest (ie make real) happiness (because bottom line: this is what we are all looking for).

1- Strengthen your body

You cannot find peace and happiness if your body is in pain or if your body is weak.

We are infinitely powerful as souls but we are incarnated in a body. If our vessel is weak we cannot do any of the steps that I am describing after.

Strengthening your body means eating right (eg what is right for you, not what Guru X and super fitness coach Y are preaching to the masses), getting enough rest, exercising, addressing any physical pain you are under. I develop those more in detail in Becoming who you are meant to be – Part1: listen to your body.

The incredible thing about strengthening the body is that it strengthens your mind and your will power automatically.

The two are intimately linked to each other. A strong body will give you a determined, positive mindset. Two in one, it doesn’t get any better than that!

2- Quiet your mind

The ‘modern’ society we live in has completely disconnected us from nature, from our inner balance, from our connection with the divine and has replaced them with pressure, performance and deadlines. Towards ourselves, towards our duties in our families, towards our responsibilities in our jobs.

The result is that our minds are constantly running mad 24/7 with the same questions circling back over and over: I am good enough? What do I still need to do today, next week, next month? How will I do to get more money, more power, more beauty? How can I get a better future for my children? etc.

The more we run around like headless chickens after our deadlines and set objectives of performance, the more our minds run into overdrive and the less we are actually able to see anything clearly.

It is of utmost importance to learn to quiet our minds and here are a couple of tips:

a. Write down the things that you need to do because once they are written they do not feed your thoughts anymore.

It applies for home/job tasks but also for that important talk you need to have with your boss about your performance review or your client to get to sign with you. Write down the key bullet points to avoid having that same conversation in your mind over and over (you know the one right?).

b. Slow down your pace. When you walk, when you talk, when you drive. The fact of physically slowing down will have an effect on the speed of your thoughts.

c. Have quiet moments for yourself, with yourself. Take a long walk in nature. Take a bath. Go to the spa. Have a drink on your own and enjoy the moment thinking of… nothing.

In spirituality slowing down and having moments for yourself lead to what is known as ‘living in the now’ or ‘living consciously’. In simple terms it just means being fully at what you are doing and not thinking about the next three steps. So when you’re worrying about your week’s planning, fine, do that, but then you need to unplug. However busy your life is you just have to find time to do it. Full stop. You owe it to yourself. You deserve ‘me time’.

d. Yes, I’m going to go there… learn how to meditate.

It’s a big fat word that I used to find extremely intimidating. But really meditating is just about sitting comfortably with your spine straight (so that all chakras are aligned and the flow of energy is fluid), closing your eyes, slowly breathing in and out through the nose (this is where the vital energy passes through) and concentrating on your breathing or on the beating of your heart, which is a new technique I learnt that I found extremely effective. How long you meditate for is irrelevant. Even 5 minutes of this quietness will be very beneficial for your day.

3- Ask for all the help you can get

I developed this at length in Ask and you should receive – Part 2.

This is all the more important if you are feeling low, sad or depressed.

We were never meant to go through this life alone. We have family, friends, soulmates, strangers that cross our paths at the right moment that are meant to help us. We have an incredible ‘dream team’ in the subtle realms whose only mission is to help and guide us. And they do that through signs, symbols, numbers, songs, books, movies, people, animals (see Becoming who you are meant to be – Part 3: learn to read the signs on your path).

You are never alone even when you feel lonely. Although you are meant to walk your path on your own, you have an incredible ‘dream team’ up there and down here ready to support and guide you. Always remember that.

4- Face your fears

I don’t have to tell you this milestone is critical. It will make or break your attempts at being fully aware, conscious, enlightened…. all stages that ultimately lead to genuine happiness.

In my case, in this past year of total life upheaval, I had to face two key monsters: the fear of being alone and my insecurities of not being good enough, of not being capable of doing X, Y or Z.

The first step is to be honest with yourself and acknowledge your fears. It seems obvious and yet I see so many people around me who are not aware of their fears, or worse who are convinced it is not a problem.

You understand why this step comes after you learn to quiet your mind. It is only with a clear mind that you can access, acknowledge and work on your deepest fears.

If you don’t know what your deepest fears are look at the situations that seriously push your wrong buttons.

The ones where, instead of expressing emotions in a healthy way (sadness, anger, fear, envy, love), they are twisted into their extreme versions (despair, rage, panic, jealousy, possessiveness). These situations shed light on your core wounds: the fear of abandonment, rejection, betrayal, humiliation, injustice.

The second step is to be gentle with yourself and most importantly not judgmental. It is not a matter of scolding your inner self with words of ‘how ridiculous you’re afraid of being alone or not being able to do X,Y or Z’.

Usually those fears are ingrained in us from a young age and somehow you need to reassure your inner child as if it was a person in front of you, take him/her by the hand and say ‘OK you are afraid of that, I understand, but now you are an adult, you have learnt so many things, you are smart, you are strong, you will find a way to do these things that scare you so much’.

And then you take baby steps. You structure a ‘how to’ go beyond each fear and you execute your plan methodically. Each baby step will give you confidence to take bigger steps and before you know it you start running.

You don’t believe it’s that easy? Try it. I assure you it works. But you need to keep the conversation going with yourself and have kind words of encouragement at every turn. You need to reward yourself at every step.

Bottom line the key to this milestone is: you replace the approval of people around you by your own. When you do that, you become fully independent, empowered, in one word: fearless.

5- Reacquaint yourself with pleasure

Our religions have associated any kind of pleasure with sin. Our society makes us strive towards performance, hard core achievements making moments of pleasure ‘unproductive’. And yet, I ask you, how can you be happy if you never enjoy life?

Now let me be clear about the notion of pleasure. I am not talking about the unbridled pleasures linked to abuse of drugs, alcohol, food or sex. Not that I have a problem with any of those. The problem lies in the excess that is practiced to make us escape our daily lives.

Pleasure should make us connect to life fully, with all our senses, not escape it.

We need to re-learn how to enjoy things. Simply. Genuinely.

Take a walk in the park (without selfie stick on hand at all time). Eat beautiful food (without instagramming every single meal you take). Enjoy a good drink (without needing to be totally wasted). Have sex with all the senses active and the love for the other flowing (whether a long time partner or shorter term one it doesn’t matter). Enjoy the company of good friends (without texting or swiping right with other people).

6- Set intentions

I have addressed this particular topic in Ask and you shall receive – Part 1.

The gist of it is the following: our thoughts have tremendous creative power. They are particularly strong when we write them down.

Fundamentally the Universe cannot ‘answer our prayers’, ‘make our wishes come true’, ‘give us what we want’ if we don’t formulate it.

However there is a specific way of formulating it. We need to understand a fundamental rule: we are in charge of the what (the direction we want for our lives) but not the how, when, through whom it will manifest. That is the Universe turf, not ours.

In less spiritual or philosophical words, we are the captain of our boat, we set the compass, but we are not in control of the wind and the under currents.

I read a lot of spiritual articles (shocker) and get baffled at advices when it comes to that particular topic. Usually people advise to be very specific about what we want, drawing mood boards, visualising results in every detail and what have you. It is the other way around!!!

What we need to do is be clear as to what happiness feels like (and not looks like) in the key areas of our lives.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is your choice. But you need to determine if you want comfort or adventure. A partner that provides for you or challenges you to bring out the best in you. Money and status or a work life balance. And you need to understand those are contradicting notions. So when, in all honesty, you decide on what is really important for you, at this stage of your life (you can of course change your intentions as you evolve in life) you need to stick to it and not moan because the contrary hasn’t happened.

7- Take a leap of faith

In other words jump without knowing exactly where you are going to fall but doing it anyway because you believe that the Universe / God / Spirit / your higher self has your back.

The title of this article is ‘How to manifest happiness’ but really the subtitle could be ‘through leading an enlightened life’. Genuine happiness is intimately linked to reaching a certain level of spiritual maturity. It requires to let go of societal constructed ideas of happiness, getting in touch with your inner self and letting it guide you through your heart, leading you to where you wish to go, not where others want you to go.

Typically society teaches us not to let go of our jobs before having a bullet proof contract for another one right? Feeding off our feelings of insecurity: ‘what if it takes me too long to find another job and I end up with no money left?’ ‘What if I get something less good than what I have right now (but that is making me totally miserable)’ etc.

I can assure you of one thing: if you take all the steps before and leave your job, your partner, whatever, for a new life that resonates in you as something that will fulfill you and reveal your true self I can tell you there is nothing to fear, it will work out for you. Plain and simple.

Why? Because you chose it as a soul before you were incarnated. And when you take all the steps before: become stronger body and mind, clear your mind, benefit from the help of the Universe (visible and invisible), face your fears, enjoy life’s pleasure, set authentic intentions, well, at this stage, you would have aligned yourself with the higher path you designed for yourself, therefore you will get all the support you need.

As scary as it sounds this is actually a joyous phase where you get amazed time and time again by the benevolence and wisdom of the Universe. Things open up, opportunities you haven’t imagined arise, you feel lighter, in tune with what is around you.

But you really need to have let go of your fears. Fear and faith are two opposite notions.

8- Let go of expectations

In other words… surrender. Which doesn’t mean sit on your ass waiting for amazing stuff to happen.

It means stand strong, walk the path you have designed for yourself, but don’t get stuck in how the milestones for your happiness will manifest. We go back to define what happiness feels like but not looks like.

In my personal journey it took a surprising turn. Being on my own now I was convinced I had to go back to a full time job (sob), as free lance consulting was amazing in terms of freedom and yet completely unstable in terms of income. As I was setting my intentions professionally I wrote ‘Find a job that stimulates me intellectually and creatively and will grant me work / life balance’. The very next day I heard a little voice in my head that pushed me to modify ‘job’ into ‘remunerated activities’. In no time I started having opportunities for mid to long term consultancy projects, a solution that grants me work / life balance AND stable income! And before having any of them signed I took the step to make all the paperwork necessary to establish myself as a consultant, and not waiting for the ‘safe solution’ of having a company hire me (leap of faith). In the process I discovered ‘by chance’ a brand new option to do so quite cheaply… Awesome Universe!

9- Free yourself from attachments

Last but definitely not least and probably the hardest as it touches emotional attachment.

It means cut any emotional co-dependency.

It means loving freely with no conditions or expectations from the other person, be it a partner, friend or parent. It means feeling so strong in your own self love that you don’t need to feed off others’ love or approval.  

And you know what happens then? People give you back love freely and fully. It is the most rewarding feeling you can get. The ultimate stage of happiness.

You need to remember: you don’t own people and people don’t own you. Unfortunately in our language we say ‘my husband/wife’, ‘my friend’, ‘my child’. The correct formulation should be ‘the person who chose to spend his/her time with me now’ (you actually don’t know for how long), ‘the person who is awarding me his/her friendship now’, ‘the child who chose to incarnate through me’. 

When you let go of emotional attachment you understand what love really is. It is unconditional. It is freeing of yourself, and others.

10. Go ahead… start manifesting

Anything, big or small, that you heart desires as long as it is pure, ie devoid of ego, manipulation and outwards notions of success or happiness.

Let the magic of life flow through you and surprise you as to how powerful you actually are, how creative you actually are, how happiness has been here for you, all along, waiting for you to tune into it.

For those of you courageous enough to have gone through this post I hope you found it useful. I honestly got prompted to write down the latest stage of my journey as a guide for others to benefit from. I would gladly receive your comments in the box below or as an email. And I will most definitely be there for you if you need any help in your own journey.

Take the plunge. You will be helped in ways you cannot fathom. You deserve to be happy.

With love,

The Unicorn